Often you hear people talking about those pour homeless, elderly and single folk around the x-mass days. Having to spend it in dark, cold and in without any loved ones nearby. Until not so long ago I didn’t know what they meant.
They could find some way to get to other people, right? Finding some other not so dirty bum, or going to some singles bar with too much of the wrong aftershave. How hard could it be? Right? Wrong!
It’s actually hard to find somebody, when you’re not looking because your afraid of rejection; because you are afraid they will find you to different, to quiet, to loud, to dirty. Even though, it’s not true, even if you are a spontaneous guy at work. Even if you give a great show on the public square. No, you do not like the hassle, the pressure, the slim chance people might find out you are not all that. The remote chance that you find out, you are not perfect, not prepared, or not cute for everybody.
So, what to do? Prepare so devotedly, the preparation becomes a goal in it self? Saying your not well, you have plans or just went to bed because tomorrow you have the big appointment you cannot miss?
You see, there are people who do care, people who say: come on! Have another beer. They can only try this once or twice, because, the next time you will not be there, or they will presume you will not budge like the many times before. After that, you’re screwed! You’ll notice you are not in the ring anymore. Being asked was nice, saying no was a mistake, but being out of the ring is more like moving to the Andromeda system. You are not there anymore, and you will not be coming back for a long while.
Moral: go with them, be nice, and be yourself and things will work out. You will not be brilliant every time, you will not be perfect or witty, but you will be there. Some of them will find you’re perfect and keep you near them. Those will be your friends. You will not notice the cold, the lonely TV dinners, the lost in the crowd feeling; because it will not be there.