First entry since ages

Well what can I say? I should post more often, but I’ve been busy. I’ve got another job, had to convert/ upgrade all my collegues to friends and think about the meening of life all over again.

What makes people want to start all over again anyway? Getting a clean slate I mean. Does it realy work, can it be done? Unplugging all connections, erasing all notes and asumptions. And for what purpose; other than painfull pasts and unhumane crimes?

Perhaps it’s a thrill, like climbing your dreams without ropes. Or falling miles in your sleep. The challaging of the unknown, only to conclude later that even the unknown is the same as we knew before. So it must be futile but tempting. Like changing your underware with the ones of your girlfriend (which is probably not a wise thing to do anyway).

So, I’m doing it also. But gradualy. Letting the past fade away, letting it rest in the sediments of long forgotten thoughts. Not stirring it up, and hoping it will go away and would not interfere with the present.

Still, maybe the past is the thing that makes the adopting of a new future a challange and a thrill. Well, what do you know, I’m a subcontious thrillseeker! Who would have guessed. I’ll compare it with going realy slow on a rolercoster which disapears in the myst and also apears in the myst. The past is bound to apear in the future this way. Hmm, a bit silly methophore, but you will have to do with it.

My first mac-blog

I’m not sure if it’s the great amount of chocolat I just ate, or the wonderfull sound of Radiohead booming through my room. The coffee I drank 3 times today, or my infinate feeling of pointless love of beeing in love. I just feel shaky right now.

Boy, Radiohead makes smart music, which is a kind of funny term. I would imply that other music could be dumb, which is -in most cases- not the case. I meant, they make music which makes you think further than the shallowless which makes life loze it’s gloss, and edges

Pain, sorrow, infinite depressions are manditory in a life in which you want to experience small strokes of happiness. I found someone that could experience these strokes in a fictional person, the one I am on the web. No, I’m not virtual, but fictional. I filter out the bias and the realy nonpersonal stuf. And what is left over is a mixture of real Peter, the wannabe Peter and the perceptional Peter, from Peters stand point.

So, I’m shaky. I want to be shaky. Not sure of the place I am, the state in which I am, nor the beeing of my surroundings. This gives me room to sufficate in, accoustics to shine through and, a blank construct to whisper my crying pain in. It gives me the freedom not to be confronted with the bias that became my life. No self pitty, no self inflicted social depressions, but the freedom to choose to be or have one. That is the only thing that seperates me, because that is the one thing I want.

The one thing everybody wants: the freedom to separate myself in the masses which we create by seperating ourselfs from the masses. We want to be become our own mass. A mass we control when we lost it, a mass that leads us when we don’t. Or the desire to get the thing we lost when we found another thing. Silence when we seek noise, light when we are heavy, gravity when we float, and creativeness when we fill out our taxes.

Bored doubt

I’ve been busy with work, some site had to be XMLed. So I had to cut down on the thinking. I’m sorry.

It was totally not satisfying. Sometimes I’m looking for a new job. Is that bad? Is it a part of a decent job? If somebody’s reading this: I’m looking for a creative, challenging job. 😉 Well, maybe I’ll stick around.

It makes me think about life in general. I’m lucky, so why am I not pleased? Should I be?

Languages

People who know me, know I’m phasinated with languages. Although I’m not to good with most of them, I can’t keep myself from trying to play and experiment with them

A natural language (English, Dutch: red) is a growing or even a evolving set of rules. Here comes the amazing part: everybody is able to fully understand a language. But above all: natural language is versatile. A person is able to express a feeling with it, but also something exact like a measurement or a logic equation.

It’s possible to build something beautiful with even the slightest knowledge of grammar and spelling. Many poets build a grand scale of expressions of feelings, politicians options and programmers programs. One can either record reality by talking about measurements and experiences, or alter and even create reality in the form of a novel.

There is one language that really stole my hart: math, or logic to be more exact. With math one can only give a true or a false story. This is not really special, but one can check the truth or lacking of it by calculating it, this in contradiction to natural language where truth is always in the middle, if it’s even there. Math’s truth is also a truth that does not have to do with reality. One can create a realm on itself as long it’s mathematical true.

The other language is the one of perception. This is everything but provable, calculatedly or interpretable. It totally rests on the perceiving person and the state he’s in. I can’t even grasp the consequences of trying to manipulate this realm.

It’s amazing Mike

Robin(20:17 PM) : nothing much… having a bud
Peet (20:17 PM) : realy?
Peet (20:17 PM) : Ik ben een beetje mijn CD collectie aan het MP3’en….
Peet (20:17 PM) : 22 Gb klaar.
Robin(20:18 PM) : was het niet gewoon handiger geweest om…
Robin(20:18 PM) : uhm
Robin(20:18 PM) : dat niet te doen ?
Peet (20:18 PM) : handiger? example!
Robin(20:19 PM) : nou… ik heb bijvoorbeeld een stuk of wat ceedees
Peet (20:19 PM) : ja…
Robin(20:19 PM) : en ik heb nu 4 uur vrije tijd
Robin(20:19 PM) : bijvoorbeeld
Peet (20:19 PM) : ja
Robin(20:20 PM) : en dan kan ik nu A: uit me neus peuteren of B: mp3’s maken
Robin(20:20 PM) : de logisch keuze zou hier zijn
Peet (20:20 PM) : dan zou ik dus iets gaan doen op de computer, of de was doen en tegelijkertijd af en toe mijn CDtjes in de computer douwen
Robin(20:20 PM) : ow
Robin(20:20 PM) : multitaksing
Robin(20:20 PM) : tasking
Peet (20:20 PM) : waardoor ik een handige gesorteerde CD collectie heb..
Robin(20:20 PM) : yeah
Peet (20:21 PM) : at my fingertips
Robin(20:21 PM) : ik zit ook maar te zeiken
Peet (20:21 PM) : psies…
Peet (20:21 PM) : da’s ook een leuke waste of time
Peet (20:21 PM) : nog maxima en willem gekeken?
Robin(20:21 PM) : stukkie
Robin(20:21 PM) : vioolmuziek
Peet (20:22 PM) : Oh, ja… was best tof
Robin(20:22 PM) : ik heb me pc niet in dezelfde kamer als m’n tv
Robin(20:22 PM) : das wel jammer
Peet (20:22 PM) : niet productieve opstelling.
Peet (20:22 PM) : Ik wil de TV ophangen boven de monitor 😉
Peet (20:23 PM) : dualshock TV-koppie krijg je ervan 😉
Robin(20:23 PM) : hehe
Robin(20:23 PM) : hee had laatst op tell sell gezien
Robin(20:23 PM) : een handige standaard op je monitor
Robin(20:23 PM) : waar je plantjes en boeken op kan leggen
Robin(20:23 PM) : aldus de tell sell seller
Peet (20:23 PM) : ik vindt die gasten echt zulke lamers!
Robin(20:23 PM) : maar NU kan je er OOK TEEVEE’S op zetten !
Peet (20:23 PM) : ook die meisjes
Robin(20:23 PM) : yep
Robin(20:23 PM) : daarom is het zo kewl
Peet (20:24 PM) : zo van… kijk eens naar deze mooie diamantjes…. maar het zijn geen diamantjes…. beter zelfs! … het is glas.. met een kleurtje
Peet (20:24 PM) : nu voor de prijs van echt platina, een keukentrapje!!
Robin(20:25 PM) : yeah
Robin(20:25 PM) : ik mis die MIKE
Peet (20:25 PM) : Deze stofzuiger is niet alleen handig voor het zuigen van stof, maar maakt ook heel veel lawaai…
Robin(20:25 PM) : het is ongelooflijk
Robin(20:25 PM) : deze vaatdoek heeft mijn leven verbeterd
Peet (20:26 PM) : LOL
Peet (20:26 PM) : :_)))

snip some computer non-sense